p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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