Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
