Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
