homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
