I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
