found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize