Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
