I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
