Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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