Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
