East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
