So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
