I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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