AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
