Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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