the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
