I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
