mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I am naked and annoyed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
