Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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