I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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