and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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