But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
