He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
