remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
