naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
