When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
