The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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