my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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