Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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