You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
