Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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