I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
