Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
