every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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