It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him