I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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