Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I smell stomach acid.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?