Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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