Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
