i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize