Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you inspire me to be a worse person
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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