After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
