I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
