Sponge bath it is.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
im on a boat
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