I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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