Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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