She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
