I don't think brook has ever known best
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
