shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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