period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have fence marks all over my body
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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