He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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