I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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