and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
