I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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