I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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