We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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