I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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