used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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